Happy Trails, Sweet Puppy

Last Thursday, our sweet Yogi went to heaven. My fear has always been that we won't be certain of our decision and that we either let him suffer too long or make a premature decision. His final selfless act (in a lifetime of selfless acts) was making it crystal clear to us that he was ready. We hate the decision we had to make. But we know in our hearts that he was ready and it was time.

Thirteen years (and one month) ago, I had to fulfill my promise to Mike that we'd "get a puppy in the spring." Our deal was that I got to pick the breed. There was never a doubt in my mind that I wanted a golden retriever. So when I saw a post at work about golden retriever puppies for adoption, we decided that we'd go see the puppies ... "just to check them out."

We walked into my co-worker's living room and the two puppies that were still available were out playing. One of them was running around, pouncing on everything - until I sat on the floor. Then that puppy climbed right up into my lap and settled down. Mike looked at Steve and said, "I'm pretty sure we'll be taking this one." And with that, Yogi and I chose each other - and Mike got us both.

Yogi was the best dog. Period. That's really all I need to write (we all know I'll write more). I think one of the biggest testaments to Yogi's awesomeness were two texts we got the day he passed. Mike's sister simply said "best dog ever" (true). Brad wrote "happiest dog I've ever met" (also true). Yogs was simply the best. In every way (Gma J may claim his one vice was that he shed a lot. and by the end, his breath was pretty brutal).

I'll never forget how he didn't leave my side for days during our two miscarriages. He was so intrigued and excited when we brought Fiona home from the hospital. He was so annoyed when we brought Declan home (and gave Mike a look that clearly said stop bringing these things home). He was incredibly mild-mannered, but was undeniably the alpha dog. He once fought a St. Bernard when I was pregnant with Fiona to "protect" me (Mike had to run off the field mid-game to help break up the fight). In one day, he showed my cousin Anna's puppy who was the boss. Nyko thought he was. Yogi disagreed. Nyks never questioned Yogs' alpha status again - even when Yogs was super old.

One of the unexpected blessings of lockdown life is that we got to spend almost every moment of Yogi's last two months with him. In fact, we got our share of "oh my goodness. why are you still here? I need a nap. Can't you all leave?" looks during those weeks. But he also seemed to like having us around - and getting to be part of the chaos. Everyone enjoyed the extra pets and snuggles!

It also gave Mike and me a front row view to the final decline. His back legs stopped working. He was falling down all the time and it was a struggle to get up and move around. By the end, he had stopped eating (although because of COVID, it took 10 days to get in after we called the vet. We got some fancy canned dog food to keep him going for the final few days). Even Declan noticed the rapid deterioration and asked if we would need to give Yogi the "sleep shot." It was heartbreaking to make the decision, make the call to the vet, and tell the kids. Declan sobbed, Fiona was devastated but understood why, and Quinn was annoyed that she felt feelings.

Yogi's appointment was at 2:00pm, which meant we got a good portion of the day with him. It was both awesome and awful - as we all felt the inevitable hanging over us. Declan was a hot mess that morning. He would randomly start sobbing. Quinn was laser focused on her homework. And Fiona was hiding in our bedroom, pretending to do her homework but really just avoiding the whole thing. It was so interesting to see how they grieve in different ways (as do Mike and I) and figure out how to best comfort each of them.

After lunch, we took a final family picture. At 1:45, Mike give us an "eight minute notice" and we all found ourselves on the floor, crying and petting Yogi. It sounds really sad (and it was), but it was also the perfect moment of togetherness. Once we got him in Mike's car (which was a feat in itself), the kids and I gave him hugs and said our final good-byes. Then they went inside and Mike and I stood on the driveway, hugging and crying. It shattered my heart to watch them drive away. I felt so bad leaving Mike to do this on his own.

Then I walked in the house to three children breaking down completely - and remembered that my job wasn't a walk in the park either. My lap was not big enough - but we made it through. Honestly, once we got through the initial grief, the kids seemed to feel better than they did in the morning. It also helped that I went to my Johnson go-to move and we made cookies. Not just any cookies - cut out cookies. I let them choose whatever cutters they wanted and we ended up with lots of rainbows and angels and unicorns and bunnies. Decorating them was a creative relief and several cookies had Yogi's name written on them.

The kids seem to be bouncing back fairly well. They are sad and miss Yogi, but are doing fine. In fact, they are firmly on the "let's get a puppy" train. Mike and I are having a harder time. We have both been really sad. We are to the point now where it hits us in the unexpected moments - like when Mike wants to throw a weird-shaped chip. Or when we lock the slider without having brought a dude outside. Or when I don't actually need to strategically position my laundry piles so they don't get knocked over. We still find ourselves looking for him, just to give him a pet or a scratch.

Yogi Godzilla Vanneste, we love you so much and will always miss you. In the words of Mike, "we'll see you on the other side, bud." Until then, save us a spot by you in heaven. And enjoy your reunion with Teemu. We know he's been waiting for you!

Final Thoughts on April Life

There will be an entire post on all the house projects Mike has accomplished in the last 59 days (spoiler alert: it is a lot!). Most of them have been on his list for a long time. One was a bit of a surprise. Quinn went out to grab the mail one evening on her rollerblades. She fell, grabbed the mailbox to stop her fall, and ripped the entire thing off the post (with it landing on her head). So the next day, we got a fancy new mailbox installed.

One afternoon, while playing outside, Quinn saw something moving in the garage. She got her dad and they discovered an injured baby bunny hiding behind a bunch of stuff. Mike managed to gently get it out and move it to a shelter he made for it in the yard. The kids named him (her?) Hero and kept tabs on it for the rest of the day. Hero was gone the next morning, so we hope he rejoined his family.

There has been a lot of really solid driveway art happening. It is both a way to pass the time and helps us feel connected to the people walking by. We've seen several people look at the drawings and smile. It makes the artists' days. Mike also just recently realized that some of our chalk is glitter chalk - and feels so much better about why our pavement sparkles!

The kids' school is still trying to do spirit days to keep things fresh and give the kids something to look forward to. They were all particularly excited about Crazy Hair day. Fiona chose to wear her purple wig to her classroom Meet (where she was delighted that some people did not recognize her). Dec asked me to make rainbow hair for him (I use face paint markers). Once Q saw that, she quickly ended up with Saber stripes. Her teacher is the HS soccer coach - so she was extra proud to send him a picture of her Saber-striped hair.

April 30th was the most beautiful day - and honestly, we are so tired of our house. So Mike made the executive decision and ordered Jimmy John's, we packed a few things and grabbed some blankets, and headed to a local park for a picnic. We were extremely socially distant from anyone else there, but all thoroughly enjoyed the change of scenery and the outside time. It was just what we needed to put a bit of bounce back in our steps.

There was no school on May 1, but I had a really busy work day. So I lined the kids up with the supplies to make May baskets (with Mike whining about the fact that it was not art day and why was I doing this to him). We've never done May baskets before, but they had so much fun making, decorating, filling, and delivering their baskets. We even got in the car to deliver to a couple friends who don't live in our neighborhoods.

And with that, we survived staying at home for the entire month of April.

Game On

When we started looking more seriously at houses last year, one of the things that was a "nice to have" in my mind was a place to store all our games. When we decided not to move, getting the game situation under control was big on my to-do list. Then lockdown hit and we were more focused on establishing our new routine and getting homeschool under control.

With a few weeks of lockdown under our belts, it was time to finally tackle the game situation. Especially since Quinn really wanted to play Uno ... and Uno was ... [insert your best guess]. Also - we were getting desperate for new things to do!

You guys, I spent approximately 20 more hours thinking about organizing the games than it actually took me to organize them. I was on pinterest, I was on Amazon, Target, and Wayfair. I was back on pinterest. I had out a tape measure and was measuring the game boxes. There may have been shades of ridiculousness in the amount of thought that went into this project. When it came down to it, I ended up ordering a 4x4 cube organizer from Target. All that thought for such a simple solution.

We were able to do a contactless drive up to get it at Target, made a swing by the storage unit where a critical mass of games were living [fun fact: when we actually thought we were moving and just decluttering the house, we put a lot of things we actually use in storage - not thinking they would live there for months. We are slowly but surely retrieving said items.], and set up a construction crew in the basement.

Once Mike, Q, and D had built the shelf, I gathered all the games from seven (yep, you read the right. SEVEN) different spots in our house. It was clear why we didn't play games as often as I would have expected. If you managed to find the game you wanted to play, it was hard work to get it out. And heaven forbid you want to put it away - as that often required a PhD in engineering.

Quinn was so excited to help. There's not much that Quinn likes more than organizing things. I was told in no uncertain terms to wait for her! Once we got everything staged, Q and I probably had everything put away in under two hours. We ordered a few cubes for the smaller dice and card games, cleaned out some games that we've outgrown, and even have space to grow!

Fun fact #2: when you can find the games, you actually play them! We've been enjoying many rounds of Old Maid, Go Fish, Memory, and Phase 10 dice.

Fun fact #3: when you don't need an engineering degree, even five-year-olds can put their own games away!!

Outside Adventures

Our early lockdown tradition of going out for a bike ride/blade/walk when I finish work remains a favorite part of our day. We marked Day 50 of lockdown today with a 2+ mile bike ride on a trail we haven't explored yet (yay for something different!!). There was a fairly substantial hill in the middle of the ride that everyone rode up - without having to walk their bikes! I was riding by Dec and when we got to the top, he looked at me and said, "Nailed it."

[You guys, Fiona shouldn't be able to ride a bike. Instead, she is riding all the way up hills that are legitimately HARD for Mike and me. On her own. She is so tough and determined. Tougher than even she knows! But believe me, we know!]

Quinn got a flat tire about a week ago. We had to order a new tube and everything is taking extra time to arrive these days. So when it finally got here on Friday, she couldn't wait for Mike to fix her tire. He did and off we headed on a ride. Where about halfway through, her tire was completely flat again. Big tears. Mike sped home on his bike to grab his car while I hung out with the troops. He brought Q's roller blades back so she could "wheel" home. Unfortunately, she wasn't wearing socks. So I made Dec give Quinn his socks. Hanging by a thread over here ...

Thankfully, we had ordered two tubes. So Saturday morning, Quinn and Mike investigated the tire in more detail, found the problem screw, and re-fixed the tire. Take two seems to be successful. And now Quinn knows how to change a tire!

We also took advantage of a beautiful Saturday to bike down by the river. There were a too many people out for our comfort, but we were able to make it work. The kids even got to do some rock climbing. Honestly, just getting out of our two-mile neighborhood radius feels like such a treat. It was a good way to get some fresh air, exercise, and a change of scenery.

Dec has been Mike's little buddy as they spend every day together. One day, last week, they finished kindergarten early so decided to pull out a couple shrubs by the back fence. Dec was very proud to put on his Hot Wheels "work gloves," pick up a few branches, and keep Mike entertained with an endless stream of conversation. They also headed down to the field one windy Saturday to fly my old kite. The wind made it a little hard to control, but they had fun nonetheless. At least until they had to reel it back in - that was a lot of work!

On Earth Day, we celebrated by having a backyard fire with some of the brush from the shrubs Mike (and Dec) pulled out. It was a pretty spontaneous event, but so much fun to pull out the camping chairs and relax around the fire. Dec was most excited because he got to use the hose to help put it out before dinner.

The signs of spring are everywhere [just ask Mike and Fiona ... whose allergies are blowing up right now]. We are seeing lots of birds and the neighborhood ducks are back. Mike taught the kids how to do duck calls one night at dinner ... so Quinn and D tested out their calls on our walk. It was so funny. And they were so excited when the ducks called back.

Backyard Baseball

As we continue to hang out at home, new hobbies are emerging to keep us entertained. My favorite is that the kids are obsessed with playing baseball. [Mike and I are NOT sad about it] They've been obsessed to the point that one night, as I climbed into bed, Mike informed me that we now owned a pitching machine. Then Declan asked for the next two million days when it would arrive!

Dec still bats left-handed and is getting really good at hitting a pitched (overhand) ball ... hence, the pitching machine. The girls are pretty good hitters as well. They are happy to play if D has recruited Mike - but are less likely to bring the equipment out on their own. Dec, on the other hand, will play all the time! He loves to hit, is working on his pitching, can throw well when he focuses - and can't catch worth beans.

D and I played catch in the driveway a few nights ago. We were throwing a tennis ball on the roof and taking turns catching it when it rolled off. It was my sneaky way of getting him to practice. While we were playing, I threw the ball and it rolled into the gutter. We had to dig out a ladder to retrieve it. I jokingly told him "don't tell dad." So he wrote about it in his school journal the next day. Traitor!

The pitching machine arrived last Friday. Dec could hardly stand it, so Mike put it together that evening. In the house. I mistakenly told them not to use it in the house - and was promptly hit by a pitched ball. Sigh. It has relocated outside and both Quinn and Declan have used it for batting practice. We've learned that you definitely need to mark home plate, or it gets a little bit more like dodgeball than like baseball. We haven't played a whole Family V game with it - but maybe the weather this weekend will cooperate.

While we are missing the MLB season (Go Twins!), it's been fun to share my love of baseball with the gang. I suspect there will not be a youth baseball season this spring - but Dec will be on track with his skills when he can get back to the diamond. The girls will be ready too if they ever want to be on a team.

[And really, the ability to catch a ball feels like a solid life skill, regardless of your position on baseball]