Conversations with the Kids

A few interesting discussions were heard around our house this week ...

[helping Dec out of the shower one night]
Dec: Approximately nine sentences - all about butt cracks.
Me: Buddy, I don't want to talk about butt cracks.
D: Mom, poop comes out of our butt crack.
Me: For real. No poop. No butt cracks.
D: Can we talk about spiders?
Me: Sure.
D: Mom, spiders are so small they can fit in our butt crack.

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[Dec "inviting" himself into the bathroom while Quinn is going potty]
Dec: Quinny, why are you sitting down?
Quinn: Because I'm going pee.
D: I pee standing up.
Q: I can't do that. [then reaches for toilet paper]
D: Why are you getting toilet paper?
Q: So I can wipe.
D: You can just shake it.
Mike: She doesn't have anything to shake.
D: Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat!?!?!

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[Quinn, after attending a soccer clinic]
Me: Daddy told me that you were really good at soccer today.
Q: Yes. I was.
[later in the day when we were discussing soccer again]
Q: There was a tunnel and we had to run through it. As fast as we can.
Me: Did you run fast?
Q: Yes. Super fast.

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[Fiona, reading a laffy taffy joke to Mike]
F: Why did the goose cross the road?
M: To get to the other side.
F: siiiiiiiiiggggghhhhhhhh. No. That's an oooooooooooold joke.
M: Then why?
F: Because the chicken was on vacation. Come on, dad.