2020: A Study of Vanneste Social Tendencies

Retreating fully from social interaction for three months and then very (very) slowly and cautiously expanding our bubble has been an interesting study in the social requirements of the five people in this house. A few hypotheses were disproven and there were some surprising results.

Mike: Many people think Mike is the introvert of our marriage. These people would be wrong. My sister once told us that Mike is an introverted extrovert - and Auntie would be correct. As the days and weeks of social deprivation dragged on, Mike got really restless. He needed out and he needed people. He was so excited to go back into the theater. He is the one who insists that we wander across the street for a driveway drink with the neighbors. And Mike is now taking on extra coaching shifts at the hockey rink. I think he just really enjoys the socialization (he says he just wants to skate). While he still doesn't like big groups, bits and glimmers of human interaction have been game-changing for him in the last few months.

Me: So yeah, if you thought I was the extrovert of our marriage, you would also be wrong. Emmy decided that I was an extroverted introvert. While she is correct on that assessment, I think the introvert part grew in spades during lockdown. As the weeks went on, I found that I probably didn't ever need to leave the house to see people again. Just my solo morning run and I was good! I was not thrilled to go back to the office. And while I do enjoy seeing my colleagues, it requires a great deal of energy to interact all day. I'm making a conscious effort to actually see people in person (from a distance) to build back that extrovert tolerance. 

Fiona: Fiona's bubbly vivacious personality ... yep, disguises a full-on introvert. She is struggling even more than me with how to interact with people again. I suspect that was part of the problem over her birthday weekend - she was simply overwhelmed by socializing with people. This summer, we noticed her taking breaks from playing outside with her friends by coming in for some quiet time with a book, her barbies, or an art project. She simply needs that quiet time to recharge. She enjoys people (moreso in small groups), but also needs to rebuild those social muscles.

Quinn: She who acts like she doesn't like people ... extrovert like her dad. It was harder to see the need in Q this summer. She's our duck - calm above the water, while paddling madly underneath. Going back to school has restored a light in Quinn that has been dimmed for months. That light has been flamed by the return to sports. She is so darn happy right now. She played back-to-back soccer/hockey on Thursday, again on Saturday, and then hockey again today. She was so tired she could hardly move. And yet beyond thrilled about it! When I picked her up at the rink today, she chattered at me all the way home. Quinn does not chatter! She desperately needed the return to hints of normal.

Declan: In the least surprising news ever, Declan is an extrovert. He has missed his buddies terribly since school shut down. And while the neighbor boys have been kind, they are older than him and are generally interested in different things. Getting back to school and seeing his boys again makes him so happy. Dec is also a social learner, so he does much better being IN school. Distance learning does not motivate him, but in-person gives him joy and energy. We had one of D's little buddies over today for some driveway roller hockey and it was the very best thing for him.

So there you go ... my non-professional assessment of our 2020 selves.