Dec Does Stand Up

Declan was full of one-liners tonight that we don't want to forget. He was so funny and had us laughing all night.

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Fiona: What's med school?
Me: Where you go if you want to be a doctor.
Dec: I don't want to be a doctor.
Me: What do you want to be?
Dec: I want to be Batman.
[this may be one of those "you had to be there" moments. But seriously, he had such a perfect delivery. We all burst out laughing and Mike spit watermelon across the table.]

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Dec (after walking in on Mike in the bathroom): That your boy part? You squirt pee out of it!

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Me: Time to brush your teeth.
Dec: I brush it my-self.
Me: Why do you brush them yourself?
Dec: Cuz my big.
Me: How big are you?
Dec: My grown up.